It may snow this week. Or perhaps some other time this winter. Perhaps several times. Rest assured that the local news station's Hysteria Squad will keep you well informed. Or you could just check the weather on your iPhone or other "not really used for phone calls but still called a phone" wireless device.
As an Alaskan transplant, I have a bit of experience driving in snowy weather. In fact, I took my driver's test in the snow. Okay, true, I failed it, but in my defense, I had the Moustache Lady and she always flunked everyone the first time. I probably didn't help my cause by hitting the cones in the parallel parking portion of the test, though. Actually, I didn't even make it out onto the road because parallel parking was the first thing up, and they consider hitting the cones to be a failing offense. Whatever. (And if you didn't have to parallel park to get a license…bite me.)
Be that as it may, I took the driver's test again in the snow, though in March, so it was more like Oregon snow. And this time I passed. I then drove in snowy weather for several years, and I've got a few pisces of advice for Oregon drivers. (And you knew I used the word "pisces" there for a reason, didn't you?)
Really, it all comes down to a few simple rules:
Rule #1: Don't Panic!!!!!
Please try to remember that drivers in cold-weather states do this all the time. And they're not such better drivers than you are. Well, okay, I'm talking about Oregon drivers, so they probably are better than you. But not necessarily, and not necessarily that much better than you. But this is not the end of the world, people! You can do this!
Rule #2: Brake Check
I can't overemphasize this one enough. The first thing you should do when heading out in snowy conditions it to see how it affects your car's braking. Head out onto the road, and being careful not to endanger anyone, hit your brakes. Hard. Observe your car's response. If you wind up in a ditch, I didn't tell you to do this. And you started out too fast. If you're still on the road, you probably have a sense for how fast you can drive and what your following distance should be. Which leads me to…
Rule #3: Following Distance, Not Speed, is Key
Nothing makes me more crazy than heading out in mildly wintery conditions and having everyone around me driving like an elderly Floridian. Going eighteen miles per hour probably won't prevent wrecks. In fact, you'll be causing so much traffic congestion that the likelihood of a wreck probably goes up. This isn't a scientific opinion, but it's still true!
If you absolutely must drive at tricycle speed, move to the right so your Alaska/Montana/Minnesota transplant brethren can get where they're going. Gaze in awe at us and realize that you can be like us if only you apply yourself.
The bottom line is that if you keep a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, you can actually go pretty fast. Safe distance should be a calculation factoring in your brake test and your speed. But allow more room than you think you need.
Rule #4: Stopping is Hard. Getting Started Again is Harder
All things being equal, you're going to have a much tougher time getting your car moving than getting it stopped. And here it's helpful to have a manual transmission, because you can always resort to starting off in a higher gear. But please remember that spinning wheels will polish the icy surface of the road to a nice, high shine. You don't want to be on the shiny stuff. So if you have to stop at a light, stop short of the shiny stuff. It'll annoy the guy behind you, but he's probably a moron. When you're able to get through the intersection, you'll be glad you endured his wrath.
And here's the real principle: DON'T STOP IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO!!! So if you're approaching a red light or stop sign, slow down to a near stop and hope the light changes. Just be aware that there may be rogue vehicles entering the intersection if they failed to observe any of my previous rules. (And you should assume they did.)
Rule #5: Main Roads are Better, Except When They're Not
This one's a bit complicated, but bear with me. You may be tempted to use side streets to get where you're going. And this can actually work sometimes. When the snow is wet and the weather turns colder, the main roads can really be slick. It's a function of the snow getting packed and then flash-frozen. In such cases, side streets are a great idea. Just watch for kids out enjoying the snow.
But when the weather's relatively warm, you'll often find that the main roads basically clear up and become driveable (you know my spell-check is suggesting "drivable"? What's with that?). My advice is to check the main roads. If you see wet pavement, you're good. In these cases, the side streets will normally still be under a thick layer of snow, so you won't improve your commute time by using them.
And that's pretty much it. Don't panic. Check your brakes. Allow for stopping distance. Stop only if you must. And know when to take the road less traveled.
Or just leave this to the experts. (This expert managed to lose a hubcap to a sidewalk curb a few years ago when it was snowy, so take all my advice with a grain of salt.)
